::frustrated::

why?  because it's almost midnight and i'm at the hospital.  i was sitting down to a nice drug-rep dinner at a famous steakhouse when i was told by my senior resident to get back to the er to do an admit.  so one bite into my steak, i had to run a good 10 blocks back to the hospital in heels and evening clothes to do this work.  no problem.  it's part of the process.  the uncalled for thing was that he LEFT me here, to await x-rays and admission results while he went home.  and HE is the one on primary call.  what the heck?  adding insult to injury, he was on call starting at 5:00...we got consulted at 5:15, and he called us first years, and told us to do it since we happened to still be in the hospital vicinity while he was at home already.  well, it's not our fault you live 40 minutes away.  and like i said, HE WAS ON CALL.  so he made the three of us late to the aforementioned dinner.  and this consult?  he didn't even bother to see her on his way out.  dude, i know you want to go home, but you have other responsibilities.  if he had offered to stay, i would have told him to go home to his wife...but the fact that he didn't offer, and made it abundantly clear that he was out the door, i was so pissed.  at least amongst the first years, we've got each other's backs: we come in as a team, and we leave as a team.  none of this leaving someone hanging crap.  that, and he has the nerve to tell me that he's not going to come in and round tomorrow since it was such a "late night"  whatever punk.  you've been home a good 2 hours now, and i'm still here.  and i'll be here again before you probably even wake up.

what a way to be a team player. 

philly (specifically graduate hospital) here i come!

unfortunately, this also means taking boards part III on june 7, 2006, 5 days after graduation.  (PA requires licensing prior to residency).  that BITES.  i thought i was done studying!  ugh.  here we go again...

so i didn't match.  i'm okay.  really.  but people, PLEASE STOP CALLING!  my phone has been exploding all day from curious friends as well as programs calling me for interviews.  so if i don't pick up...please don't be offended. 

so yeah, not going to colorado.  disappointing, yes.  but not entirely unexpected.  can't say i'm devastated.

chestnut hill?  found out so much dirt on them this past week, i was praying i wouldn't end up there.  it was a relief to find out i hadn't matched at all.  being there would have really sucked.

what i did find amusing though, was getting a call from inova.  they're one of the top programs in the country that didn't give me time of day for the past 18 months.  i've come to find that they are not what i'm looking for.  but it was a sense of vindication.  ha.

so what now?  i have a list of programs that i have called/will call.  i'm still not worried.  i'm confident that in the end, i will be exactly where God wants me to be.  so...is it gonna be:

ohio?!

new mexico?!

colorado?!

pennsylvania? (philadelphia, pittsburg, scranton, erie)

conneticut?

and of course, there's always the motherland: university of utah.  go utes!  my daddy would be proud. =)

i'll keep you posted...

this bites. 

i wanted so much to stay in chicago...but i didn't find any program i liked.  until now.  only it's much too late.

i've been rotation at loyola/hines va.  i love it.  i didn't apply because 1.  it was a va and 2. it wasn't in the initial directory.  the chances of getting this are slim...

there are 4 positions i could possibly end up with (2 at colorado, 2 at philly)

hines has 2 positions open...and they ranked 17 people.  meaning at least 16 of those would have to not want to go there for me to have a chance.

they have a 2 year position...but i want the 3 year.  and it's not going to change to a 3 year any time soon. 

guess God's telling me it's time to go elsewhere...

back to studying for boards, lest i fail and have a whole other shot at residencies...NEXT YEAR!  

<sigh>

too bad i didn't want to go to la...the director just called me to ask "what can we do for you?"

seriously, this system is so messed up cuz there's so much wheelin' and dealin' that goes on under the table.

so i haven't heard a thing from n. colorado, even though their residents have assured me that they actually "play by the rules"  and philly told me "keep us in mind, cuz we're keeping you in mind."  what does this all mean?!?!  argh.

one more month, and this craziness will all be over.